Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Put on a happy face.....

That's all you can do sometimes, right? Smile...never let them see you cry....never let them see you sweat...just put on the happy face and keep on trucking.  Blah......

Period FINALLY showed up...after being 4 days late....and with a VENGEANCE! So much so that I had to call my doctor...going through numerous feminine products in an hour....and passing a huge grayish-red 'clot' had me freaked out. Dr. seems to think I may have had a missed miscarriage... If that is the case, I am thankful that I did not continue to test these last few days.  Had it shown up positive and then I ended up losing it, I truly believe I would have gone insane.... This way is easier.... somewhat....I guess.  It's all in God's plans....as is everything.  A dear friend had a miscarriage last month....and this month is preggo and her bloodwork is good and strong...so maybe I will luck out and have that happen as well... but not counting on it.  Need to seriously start researching cost of IUI and IVF.... For now...on to round 3 of Clomid....  but deep inside I still feel defective and defeated. Gotta push that deep down inside me though...have finals the next two weeks....gotta do well....can't become even more of a defect....

1 comment:

  1. Hugs my love. This will happen for you. I'm so sorry you even have to deal with this.

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