Fake it till you make it!

Put on a happy face. Put on a happy face. Fake it till you make it! Be thankful for what I do have. Don't dwell on what I don't...

Must have been on Santas naughty list----

Not only no snow but spotting came today as my present....yay me. Guess AF is on her way...was so hoping for a miracle....would love to just lay in bed....

Cd 24 ---10 days past ovulation---4 or 5 days until AF is due....cramping pretty bad-guess it's pre-AF cramps. Even tested just for the heck of it.and of course nothing Another cycle down the toilet. Another knife into my heart. Was so hoping for a Christmas miracle... Gonna have a good cry and then put my big girl panties on along with a smile and "never let 'me see you sweat"..... This sucks. The end.

Let the insanity begin....

On cycle day 19 today.... 5 DPO... so now I'm in the midst of yet another two week wait...well actually about 10 days.... yay me....bring on the NOT trying to hope, worry, wonder, pray etc...etc.. I promise I am trying to NOT read anything into anything this cycle and even if something makes me wonder or hope I am telling myself there's no way I'm preggo...that way the disappointment is less.  I will not pray that I am preggo every other second like I did last cycle. Just ready to get through the next 10 days quickly. If it's God's will....it will happen....that's what I keep telling myself.  Still get bitter at times...especially after hearing of a local 17 year old girl killing her 3 day old baby....by putting COCAINE in his bottle.... sickens me beyond words!!!!! I sure as heck don't understand the way things work out...but guess it's not my place to understand... I am so very grateful for the two girls I have and for the wonderful husband God gave me...for our own home, food on the table, and wonderful family and friends. I have some awesomely awesome friends that I would never trade for any amount of gold in the world...and I love y'all for always being there for me and for always understanding. <3  I'd be lying if I said I still don't desperately want a baby...I do.... but I also realize I must be thankful for what I do have...and I am...just would love a baby with Art to complete our lil family.